- Can walk,
run, sometimes climb, but balance is very unsteady.
- Usually has
a quick temper and needs to have something "Now." His emotions
are as immature as any other part of him.
- Suggestions
for handling:
a. Remember he is an extremely immature creature
b. Do not call him. Lure, pick up, and carry.
c. Physical barriers to prohibit things are much better than verbal.
d. Any verbal commands should be short and simple: "Coat, hat,
out."
e. Keep demands at a minimum.
f. Give close and constant physical supervision.
g. Give him plenty of outlets for his energy.
h. Use guile. Do something interesting to lure him.
2 Years
- Marked equilibrium,
particularly when viewed with preceding and following stages.
- Added maturity
and calm. Willingness to do what he can and not try too hard to do the
things he cannot.
- Surer of
himself motor wise. Less likely to fall. Runs and climbs more surely.
- Remarkable
effectiveness. Able to make his wants known, which relieves much of
his exasperation.
- Life is easier
emotionally. Demands not as strong, can wait a moment if necessary.
- People mean
more to him. Likes, on occasion, to please others and is often pleased
by others.
- Cannot share
with other children, but can, if directed, find substitute toys.
- Is often
loving, affectionate, warmly responsive to others.
2 ½ Years
- Watch out
peak age of disequilibrium.
- Often seems
to resist just as matter of principle.
- Rigid and
inflexible cannot adapt. Everything has to be done just so, in
what he considers the right place, follow a rigid sequence.
- Extremely
domineering and demanding. Must give orders, make the decisions. If
he decides "Mommy do" there will be no substitutes. If he
decides "Me do it myself," nobody else is allowed to help
him, no matter how awkward or incapable he himself may be.
- Violent emotions.
- Age of opposite
extremes. No ability to choose between alternatives. Almost impossible
to make a clear cut choice and stick to it. "I will, I wont,
I dont want it." Go out stay in.
- Age of preservation.
Wants to go on with whatever he is doing, not only at the moment, but
also from day to day play stories. Difficult for him to
accept new things, clothes, furniture, or things to eat.
- Suggestions:
a. Use great patience.
b. Really understand difficulties of this age.
c. Be willing to use endless techniques to get around rigidities and
rituals and stubbornness.
d. Make all the decisions yourself.
3 Years
- Equilibrium
- Almost every
aspect of 2 ½ year old behavior, which made trouble for him and those
about him, seems to have disappeared or at least lessened.
- Two used
"No," three uses "Yes" and goes forward positively
to meet each new adventure.
- Like to "give"
as well as "take." Likes to share, both objects and experiences.
Uses the word "we" frequently.
- No longer
seems to need the protection of rituals.
- Greater maturity
has led to feel much more secure within himself and in his relations
to others.
- People are
important.
- Increased
motor abilities allow activities to be done with minimal difficulty.
- Increased
ability with, and interest in, language help him to be a delightful
companion and interesting group member. Can not only be controlled by
language, can be entertained and can entertain. Loves new words and
they can often act like magic in influencing him to behave as we would
wish. Such words as "help," "might," "could,"
are active motivators to get him to perform necessary tasks.
3 ½ Years
- It seems as
though in order to proceed from the equilibrium of the 3 year
old stage to that which is usually attained by 5 years of age, the childs
behavior needs to break up, loosen up, and go through a phase of new
integration. All this comes to a head around 3 ½.
- Period of
marked insecurity, disequilibrium, in coordination.
- Poor or new
coordinator may express itself in any or all fields of behavior. It
may express itself only temporarily and very lightly in some children
or for a considerably longer period and much more markedly in others.
This period often causes great concern, but it is so characteristic
of this particular age period that though certain environmental factors
may exaggerate it, in many cases we can fairly consider that it is caused
by growth factors alone.
- Motor incoordination
may express itself in stumbling, falling, fear of heights. A child whose
hand and arm movements have up to now been strong and firm may suddenly
draw with a thin, wavy line, may build (such as blocks) with a noticeable
hand tremor.
- Language
may be involved. Stuttering very often comes in at this period in children
who have never stuttered before.
- Eyes and
ears may be involved. Parents are often worried by the temporary (or
more persistent) crossing of the eyes, which comes in here. The child
may complain that he "cant see."
- Tensional
outlets are often exaggerated blinking of eyes, biting nails,
picking nose, exhibiting facial or other tics, masturbating, and sucking
thumb excessively.
- Emotionally
insecure crying, whining, frequent questioning, especially of
this mother: "Do you love me?" complains: "You dont
love me." Extremely demanding with adults: "Dont look,"
"Dont talk," "Dont laugh." May demand
that all attention is focused on himself and thus becomes extremely
jealous of any attention shared by members of the family to each other.
Shows insecurity with his friends and demands their exclusive attention.
Very shy one minute over boisterous the next.
- Suggestions:
a. Try to keep from blaming various aspects of the environment for any
or all of the difference in coordination.
b. Show the child extra affection and understanding which is so desperately
needed at this age.
4 Years
- Disequilibrium.
- Key words
"out of bounds" so in every direction.
- Where 3 ½
is too insecure, 4 is overly secure and brashly confident in his own
abilities.
- Motor wise,
bites, kicks, throws, runs away.
- Emotionally
loud silly laughter. Alternates with fits of rage, "You make me
so mad."
- Verbally
more out of bounds than in any other way. Language can almost be guaranteed
to shock anybody except the most hardened. Profanity rampant. You wonder
where in the world he ever heard such awful language. Bathroom and elimination
words come into common use. Uses them not only incidentally, or where
they might be appropriate, but may dwell on them and rhyme with them,
accompanying his rhyming with such silly laughter, showing he fully
appreciates their inappropriateness.
- In interpersonal
relations, out of bounds. Loves to defy parental commands. Seems to
thrive on being just as defiant as he can manage. Even severe punishment
may have little chastening effect. A terrible toughness has seemed to
come over him. He swaggers, swears, boasts, and defies.
- Imagination
seems to have no "reasonable" limits. This new found
flight through imagination, which often begins at 3 ½ may be a high
point for the enjoyment of imaginary companions. Parents accept these
fairly well. Less well accepted by parents are the 4s tall tales
which often strike adults as being just plain lies. To the 4, the line
between fact and fiction is very thin and flexible. May not actually
be telling falsehood, its just more interesting that way, and
his own imaginings become real to him.
- Firmness
of stand you take toward out of bounds behavior is up
to you. Certainly there are limits. Very simple social situation of
a nursery school group require even more.
- Needs to
be allowed to test himself out allowed to go up and down the
sidewalk with expanding limits run ahead on a walk and wait at
the next corner. Perhaps there are understanding neighbors he can visit.
- Reins of
control can be held loosely, but there are always moments when they
need to be pulled up short and sharp.
4 ½ Years
- Uphill side
to equilibrium.
- Beginning
to pull in from out of bounds ways.
- Trying to
sort out what is real from what is make believe.
- Constant
question, "Is it real?"
- When drawing
a real car may put on long electric cord with plug.
- Can become
quite confused as he tries to straighten out what he pretends, what
happens on TV, and what is real.
- Desire for
realism sometimes too stark for adults seems almost too frank,
as they demand the details about death, for example, or God.
- Confusion
of reality and imagination can be quite exasperating to parents. One
mother, completely out of patience, threatened that the sandman would
come and get her son. This is not recommended. The 4 ½ year old considered
and replied, "O.K., well, I think I better take my cowboy boots
and a shirt. Will you get my suitcase?"
- Little more
self motivating than earlier. Can start a job and stay on track
with less need of adult control. Will start to build a form and does
so, not letting it become a fort, truck, train, or gas station.
- Great discussers.
Reading a book about fires might lead to a long discussion about the
pros and cons of fires. Often have surprising wealth of material and
experiences to draw on and seem to be prompted by an intellectual, philosophizing
sort of interest.
- Improving
their control and perfecting skills in many ways.
- Play less
wild than at 4 years of age.
- Better able
to accept frustrations.
- Fine motor
control as expressed in drawing markedly improved. Will often draw on
and on.
- Shows a beginning
interest in letters and numbers. May count quite well, though skipping
certain numbers.
- Shows a beginning
interest in seeing several sides of the picture. Aware of front and
back, inside and outside. May catch them backing up to mirror. May draw
a man on one side of the paper, turn it over and draw the back of his
head there.
- "Catching
up" time with some children, especially boys who have been slow
in motor or language development.
- May be a
period of rapid intellectual growth.
5 Years
- "Hes
an angel," say some mothers. "Hes almost too good,"
worry others.
- Time of extreme
and delightful equilibrium.
- Tends to
be reliable, stable, and well adjusted.
- Secure within
himself, he is calm, friendly, and not too demanding in relations with
others.
- Content to
stay on or near home base. Does not seem to feel the need to thrust
out into the unknown. Tries only that which he can accomplish, therefore
accomplishes that what he tries.
- Mother is
center of his world and he likes to be near her, to do things with and
for her, obeys her commands, to be instructed and to get permission.
To be a good boy is not only his intention, but also it is something
that he usually can accomplish. Therefore, he is satisfied with himself,
and others are satisfied with him.
- When the
break-up of this behavior comes around 5 ½ to 6, many parents wish for
their docile 5-year old. Sort of like wishing 18 months was in the pre-creeping
stage. This is fruitless, of course.
- Growing child
needs more than 5-year old equipment to meet the world. He needs to
branch out and there he often thrusts into areas which cause a great
deal of difficulty for all concerned.
6 Years
- Equable 5
tumultuous 6, break up actually begins around 5 ½ and by 6 ½
smoothes out again. In this six-month period the child is extremely
difficult to deal with.
- Behavior
reminiscent of 2 ½ -- violently emotional, loves one minute, hates the
next.
- Mother is
no longer center of his world. He wants to be the center of his world,
even though he hasnt yet developed a secure sense of himself.
He wants to come first, be loved the best, have the most of everything.
Mother is now in second place, and gets blamed for whatever is wrong
at the moment.
- Six, like
2 ½, is very demanding of others and very rigid in his demands
has to have things just so. He cannot adapt others must do the
adapting.
- Extremely
negative in his response to others. That he has been asked to do something
is in his eyes sufficient reason for refusing to do it.
- Is rather
delightful in his vigor, energy and in his readiness for anything new.
Appetite for new experiences is prodigious.
- This leads
him to wanting all of everything. Difficult for him to choose between
any two alternatives because he wants both.
- It is difficult
for him to accept criticism, blame, and punishment. He has to be right,
be praised, and win.
- As rigid
and unadaptable in relations with others as he was at 2 ½, things have
to be done his way. Others have to give in to him. If he is winning,
everything is fine. If others win, tears and accusations that others
are cheating.
- If all goes
well, he can be warm, enthusiastic, eager, and ready for anything. But,
if things go badly, tears and tantrums follow.
- Suggestions:
a. Respect the fact he is having a difficult time within himself as
well as in his relations with others.
b. Use techniques when you can.
c. Bypass as many unhappy incidents as you can.
d. Mothers, since the child is at worst with them, should get others
to help carry through daily routines where they can.
7 Years
- Withdraws
from the world.
- Has calmed
down in many ways and is easier to live with.
- More likely
to complain than to rejoice will retreat from a scene, muttering
more than stay and demand his way.
- Has been
described as morose, mopey, and moody.
- Withdraws
from other people likes to be alone. Wants a room of his own
to which he can retreat and protect his own things.
- Likes to
watch, listen, and stay on the edge of any scene. Great TV watcher and
video game player, possibly a reader. Almost as if he is building up
a sense of self by watching, observing, ruminating.
- Hands are
very busy exploring, feeling everything he comes in contact with.
- Loves pencils,
and prefers the sharp, defined strokes of lead rather than the loose,
sloppy stroke of color.
- Intellect
is on the ascendancy. More discriminating and refined in what he sees
and does.
- Often demands
too much of himself. Is aware of task, but not always able to complete
it. Apt to go on too long and then becomes suddenly exhausted.
- Has good
days and bad days high learning days and forgetting everything
days.
- Often tends
to feel people are against him, dont like him, and are picking
on him. Other kids cheat. Teachers at school pick on him. Even his parents
are unfair. Some even figure they are adopted. If family is too "mean,"
threaten to run away from the intolerable persecution, which he thinks
is a lot.
- Facial expression
of some may express dissatisfaction with life. Lips may curl downward
in a permanent pout.
- Good days
will steadily increase in 7, fatigue lessens, and he will be ready for
most anything by 8 years of age 4.
- Suggestions:
a. Need to steer delicate course between being reasonably sympathetic
with children many complaints, yet not take them too seriously.
b. Help him to define stopping points in tasks before he reaches utter
exhaustion.
c. Teacher may need to shift intellectual fare on different days.
d. Wise mother will keep child at home if his bad day starts the minute
he gets out of bed, as it so often does.
8 Years
- Goes out to
meet the world often described as expansive and speedy.
- Nothing too
difficult for him, in his own estimation, no task too formidable to
be undertaken, no distance too great for him to cover.
- The new and
difficult are exciting challenges which he tends to meet with great
zest.
- Seems to
find it difficult to stay out of touch with any part of his environment.
Is constantly busy and active, enjoying new experiences, trying out
new things, making new friends.
- Often overestimates
his own ability. Will not always follow through in his activities. The
burst of energy and enthusiasm with which he tackles each new task may
be followed by failure and discouragement. With his newly increased
powers of evaluation he may recognize his all to frequent
failures. Then, tears and disparagement. "I always do it wrong,"
"I never get anything right." With his tendency to dramatize
everything, we sometimes suspect that he, in a way, realizes even his
failures, or he at least makes use of them.
- Failures
today will not stop him from starting something else new tomorrow.
- Ready for,
and wants, a good two way relationship with people. Not just
what people do concerns him but also what they think.
- Has more
to say to other people than he did earlier, but he expects more of them
as well. With his mother, especially, the 8 year old wants and demands
a close understanding relationship.
- For all his
seeming brashness and bravado, much more sensitive than one might expect.
Needs protection both from trying to do too much and from too excessive
self-criticism when he meets failure. We need to plan with him toward
a future time when he will carry through better or will not set himself
an almost impossible task.
- Gives us
more than a hint of the person he will be later on.
9 Years
- Lives more
within himself. Is surer in his contacts with the outside world, more
self-contained and self-sufficient than adventurous 8, who just coldt
keep to himself.
- Can be, and
often insists on being, extremely independent. In his own eyes he is
quite the man of the world tends to resist too much "bossing"
by his parents.
- Much more
interested in friends than in family. Many like to withdraw as much
as they can from the family circle. Opinions of friends are much more
important to most of them than the opinions of their families.
- May be interested
in adults from the point of view of what they can do with him expeditions,
excursions, shared interests. Much less interested than earlier in the
relationship itself.
- Important
not to impose yourself upon a child of this age who wants and needs
to have his maturity, independence, and his separateness respected.
- If treated
as the mature creature he considers himself, usually gets along pretty
well and does display a remarkable amount of self-reliance and capability.
- Can be age
of perfecting skills and of real, solid accomplishment.
- Does tend
to worry. Takes things hard and can be extremely anxious. May tend to
go to pieces over something which would have brought only brief tears
a year earlier.
- Some people
consider 9 a potentially rather neurotic age.
- Not only worries
but complains. May be simply that tasks imposed at home and at school
are "too hard" and may take form of more serious physical
complaints (eyes smart, hands hurt, stomach aches).
- Though complaints
nearly always do represent real physical feelings of discomfort, interesting
to note how often the occur in relation to some disliked task (eyes
hurt when it is time to study, hands hurt when he practices piano, stomach
aches if he has to sweep floor or rake the yard, has to go to the bathroom
as soon as its time to wash dishes).
- All complaints
should be respected within reason, but recognized for what most of them
are, -9s way of meeting an unpleasant situation.
- This may
be in some children an age of considerable rebellion against authority.
- Some merely
rebel by withdrawing. Can look right through you as you give them a
command.
- May rebel
by complaining but actually do carry out your commands.
- Gradually
the complaints, rebellions, worries diminish at 9.
10 Years
- Most parents
say this is the nicest age there is.
- Parents
word is law.
- Seems to
expect to obey and gains status in his own eyes his obedience.
Will tell you honestly, "I try to be a good boy."
- Satisfied
with the world in general. Is pleased with life as he finds it and he
finds it easy to enjoy himself.
- Nice and
friendly to other people and expects them to be friendly to him.
- Matter of
fact, straight forward, and flexible.
- Ten, more
than any age which follows until you get to 16, is an age of predictable
comfortable equilibrium. Never again after 10 will a parent get quite
the same wholehearted and unreserved acceptance of the child, their
actions, and their motives.
Brief schemata
tabular presentation of age changes:
2 years 5 years
10 years Smooth, consolidates
2 ½ 5 ½ -6 11 Breaking up
3 6 ½ 12 Rounded balanced
3 ½ 7 13 Inwardized
4 8 14 Vigorous, expansive
4 ½ 9 15 Inwardized, outwardized, troubled
5 10 16 Smooth, consolidated
Havighurst's
Developmental Tasks from Infancy Through Later Life
- Infancy
And Early Childhood (Birth to 6 Years)
Learning to walk
Learning to take solid foods
Learning to talk
Learning to control the elimination of body wastes
Learning sex differences and sexual modesty
Achieving physiological stability
Forming simple concepts of social and physical reality
Learning to relate oneself emotionally to parents, siblings, & other
people
Learning to distinguish right & wrong, developing a conscience
- Middle
Childhood (6-12)
Learning physical skills necessary for ordinary games
Building wholesome attitudes toward oneself as a growing organism
Learning to get along with age mates
Learning an appropriate masculine or feminine social role
Developing fundamental skills in reading, writing, and calculating
Developing conscience, morality, and scale of values
Developing concepts necessary for everyday living
Achieving personal independence
Developing attitudes toward social groups and institutions
- Pre-Adolescence
And Adolescence (12-18)
Achieving new & more mature relations with age-mates of both
sexes
Achieving a masculine or feminine social role
Accepting ones physique and using the body effectively
Achieving emotional independence of parents and other adults
Selecting and preparing for an occupation
Preparing for marriage and family life
Developing intellectual skills and concepts necessary for civic competence
Desiring & achieving socially responsible behavior
Acquiring a set of values and an ethical system as a guide to behavior
- Early Adulthood
(18-35)
Selecting a mate
Learning to live with a marriage partner
Starting a family
Rearing Children
Managing a home
Getting started in an occupation
Taking on civic responsibility
Finding a congenial social group
- Middle
Age (35 60)
Achieving adult, civic, and social responsibility
Establishing & maintaining an economic standard of living
Assisting teenage children to become responsible and happy adults
Developing adult leisure time activities
Relating oneself to ones spouse as a person
Learning to accept and adjust to the physiological changes of age
Adjusting to aging parents
- Later Life
(60)
Adjusting to decreasing physical strength and retirement
Adjusting to death of a spouse
Establishing an explicit affiliations with ones age group
Meeting social and civic obligation
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